


The Adventures of Margot Egan: The 7 Times Dan's Annoying Little Sister Showed Up

by thatgirljazz



Category: Veep (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, F/M, as much as I can be with an OC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 15:49:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20762903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgirljazz/pseuds/thatgirljazz
Summary: Margot Egan is the polar opposite of her brother, the Ice Man. She's human sunshine. How are they even related?Or the 7 times Dan was forced to remember he had an annoying little sister.





	1. Season 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to Kenny, Safflower, and Maev for encouraging me to write this. I hope you enjoy! This is the only canon compliant fic I will be writing because who wants that? Please leave kudos or comments if you'd like!

Whoever decided to create the nation’s capital on a swamp should be have Legos shoved up his ass on an endless cycle in hell. She’s only been walking for ten minutes and a glistening layer of sweat is already covering her brow. Amy trudges through all the stupid tourists and jogs across the street.

Even though she considered herself unshakeable, Amy felt weird about how Dan reacted when he thought she was pregnant. He practically fucking short-circuited. His sheer pleasure at her name being dragged through the mud all over the news didn’t help either. He was such a shit. A shit whose doorstep (hallway, same difference) she was waiting outside of per Selina’s request at 8am on a Saturday. She takes a deep breath and knocks furiously.

“Jesus, I’m coming,” he sounds annoyed and it makes her smile.

The door swings open and his dark eyes narrow at her.

“What do you want?”

Amy can’t hide the sheer pleasure on her face at disrupting his weekend.

“Selina needs you.”

He groans, leaning in the doorway and his eyes roll back as he opens the door wider to let her in.

“_Daniel_!” a female voice whines, drawing out every syllable in his name from his kitchen. Amy hates that she remembers where his kitchen is.

Amy raises her eyebrows and Dan sets his jaw. No wonder he’s so annoyed. He doesn’t answer her, so she repeats his name again in the same nasally tone.Dan closes his eyes, pinching the bridge between his eyes.

“I’ll change,” he shakes his head before disappearing.

Amy looks back at her phone. She sees a leggy blonde holding a carton of milk in her hand sauntering over to her. She has a black t-shirt on with Aveda written across it and white runner’s shorts.So he picked up a hair stylist.

“Danny!” she says again, shaking the milk carton this time.

“It’s Dan! I have to go to work! I’m changing!” Dan snaps, still in the other room.

Miss Aveda rolls her blue eyes in a way that seems disturbingly familiar.

“Hiiii,” she tosses her long, blonde waves over her shoulder, “I’m Margot.”

“Amy. Dan and I work together for the Vice President,” Amy keeps her hands at her sides.

“You’re _Amy_,” Margot gives her a crooked smile, showing off her dimples.

Amy raises her eyebrows with surprise and doesn’t care for her tone. She folds her arms in front of her chest.

“So, is Dan gonna put you on ice til he gets back or do they need you back at the salon?” she widens her blue eyes.

A crease forms in between Margot’s dark eyebrows and Amy smirks. Her blue eyes go round with what Amy can only describe as horror.She retches audibly and puts her hand over her mouth.

“Ewwwww!” she shakes her shoulders violently. “I’m Danny’s _sister._”

“Ha!” Amy can’t help her laugh.

“You’re out of milk, shitwad,” Margot pelts the empty carton at Dan as he walks back over to them.

“This is a new fucking suit!” he blocks the carton with his hands.

“Oh, is it? Only you would think that monstrosity is stylish,” Margot snorts. “I bet you whisper to yourself ‘There is an idea of Dan Egan’ when you get ready ,” she continues in an overly deep voice.

“I don’t sound like that,” Dan hisses.

“I don’t sound like that,” Margot imitates and hunches her shoulders.

Amy can see it now. It’s not an immediate resemblance, but they share some features. They both have the high cheekbones with the smattering of freckles, thin lips, and sharp eyebrows.

“You really should put your toner on and let it set before you do the moisturizer,” Margot gestures to the apple of her cheek,” or you’ll get some product build up.”

“You’re such a bitch, Go,” he growls and disappears again.

“Takes one to know one, Danny,” Margot yells back. “He’s such a shit,” she rolls her eyes.

“I actually said the same thing,” Amy muses and tries to make small talk. “So, are you in town for a while?”

“Just a few days—thank God! My bff, Jer and I are going to a concert and then back up to New York. I go to the Aveda Institute there for cosmetology and esthiology,” she says, excited.

Amy tries to hide the judgment on her face, but doesn’t know what to say.She never would have imagined Dan who is so cold and calculating having such a bubbly, breezy sister who wants to play dress up for a living. She realizes she hasn’t replied, but it doesn’t matter because Margot continues on without her.

“It’s great to be able to technically pick his ego apart,” she winks and steps closer to Amy.

Margot has a good six inches on Amy as she stares down at her. She reaches out and takes her straight, blonde hair between her fingers.

“You have amazing hair, sweetie. Have you ever thought about curling it?” she asks.

“It’s, uh, naturally wavy. Kinda like yours,” Amy steps back, disarmed.

“I’m sorry, babe. I should’ve asked before just grabbing your hair,” Margot smiles.

“It’s fine,” Amy says stiffly.

Margot is staring so intently that Amy isn’t sure what to do.

There’s a knock at the door and Amy’s heart nearly leaps out of her chest.

“It’s me, Go-Go!” a male voice yells.

Margot moves past her and opens the door. A tall man with glasses as black as his hair stands in the doorway and yelps. He wraps his arms around Margot and lifts her off the ground. Margot squeals so high and loud that Amy is sure some dogs are barking somewhere.

“Oh good, Gay and Gayer is here,” Dan rolls his eyes.

“Don’t wear those shoes. Wear the Italian ones,” the man says barely even glancing at Dan who runs back to his room.

“Amy, this is Jeremiah. Jer, this is Amy. She works with Dan,” Margot explains in a very excited tone.

“Oh, _she’s_ Amy,” Jeremiah arches a black eyebrow. “Well, you’re gorgeous. Have you thought about curling your hair? Like tight ringlets?”

“With those lips and eyes she could pull off a lot,” Margot nods.

“Oh, definitely. I would recommend a sheath dress though. This gray thing is not doing much for your figure,” Jeremiah states.

“Ex-fucking-scuse me?” Amy glares at him.

“Sorry, I’m a stylist. Force of habit,” he adjusts his glasses, “You’re gorgeous.”

“Isn’t she?” Margot wrinkles her nose and grins. “I think you’re gorgeous.”

“Amy doesn’t play for both teams like you do, Go,” Dan stands next to Amy. He moves slightly in front of her and Amy realizes he’s being oddly protective.

“I don’t care about gender,” Margot rests her wrist against her head as if Dan’s presence is causing her physical anguish.

“Well, Amy and I are gonna go. You and Jeremiah can give each other makeovers as soon as we leave,” Dan puts his hand on Amy’s shoulder and she jumps again.

“Right. You get more manicures than I do,” Margot laughs.

“Well, I don’t have weird bony fingers.”

“Eat glass, Dan!” Margot spits. “_So_ nice meeting you, Amy.”

“Uh huh. Same for both of you,” Amy shrugs Dan off and walks out.


	2. Season 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! Thank you for all the lovely comments! I wouldn't be able to write this without you. Please leave kudos and comments if you so desire! Safflower, there's two Easter eggs for you!

There’s a high-pitched scream that echoes off the 19th century walls ofNumber One Observatory Circle. Dan has been handling this interview for the past two weeks and he doesn’t need a Signature Selina Fuck Up right before she gets filmed for national television. Dan bolts down the hallway to find the source. It’s Gary. He wants to choke him.

“Jesus, Gary, trying to break the chandelier?”

Gary doesn’t even register his comment and rushes over to him.

“Dan! Oh, thank God! The makeup artist isn’t here.”

“What do you mean? He was supposed to arrive a half hour ago.”

“What are we gonna do? Should _I _do the makeup? What about her hair?” Gary’s so frantic he might pass out.

“I got this. Just calm down and find your fucking balls. They’re stuck in your throat,” Dan shakes his head and dials his phone.

“What do you mean he’s sick? You better bring me someone else. Does he have cholera? Get his ass over here. This is the Vice President of the United fucking States,” he moves out of the room and lowers his voice. “I never promised that. What are we in 8th grade? That’s not my problem, Cathy,” Dan growls as she hangs up on him. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He really shouldn’t have fucked that NBC associate producer before the show got shot, but Selina wanted the interview booked as soon as possible.

He takes a deep breath and grits his teeth. _Fuck._ How are they going to get someone so fast? Horror washes over him as he realizes who to call. He fakes a smile hoping it’ll change the tone of his voice.

“Hey, Go,” he sounds too nice. She’s gonna know.

“What the fuck do you want, Danny?” Margot’s voice asks.

“It’s Da—I don’t need a reason to call my sister,” he lies.

“In this fucking family you do,” she scoffs,” I can’t fix your eyebrows. They’re naturally villainous.”

“This isn’t about my goddamn eyebrows. Can you just the fuck shut up for a minute?”

“Fuck you too.”

“No, don’t hang up, Margot.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“I need your help. Can you do the Veep’s hair and makeup for this interview as in right now?”

Margot cackles and he pulls the phone away from his ear.

“I’m serious. The guy we had is sick and she’s gonna film soon. I can send a helicopter to pick you up.”

Margot is silent and he knows it’s on purpose.

“What are you gonna give me?”

“We’d pay you."

“Not money, idiot. I want Pop’s watch.”

“Why?”

“I need to sell it for blow,” she deadpans.

“He gave it to me. It’s a _man’s_ watch.”

“Like you can tell on your dainty T-Rex wrists.”

Dan groans trying to bite his tongue.

“Sure, fine. Take the fucking watch.”

“Haha, I would’ve done it without the watch.”

“You’re such a—”

“Lifesaver, you ungrateful asshole?”

“Sure.”

It doesn’t feel soon enough when there’s a knock on the door. A secret service guy stands next to Margot. She has on large oversized shades, a sweater dress, and ankle boots. She has a silver case slung over her shoulder and a handbag in the other hand. Dan had expected worse.

“Thanks, Anthony,” Dan nods and the guy leaves.

“Your savior has arrived,” Margot grins.

“I’m so glad I’m going to hell,” Dan shakes his head.

“Me too. Can’t wait,” Margot grins wider. “Where’s the Vice President?”

“Follow me.”

They walk up the stairs. It’s silent for most of the way.

“This place is kinda ugly,” she murmurs.

“Go!”

“Come on, she’s the VP. She deserves something cuter.”

“It’s because she’s the VP that she doesn’t get something cuter.”

Dan knocks on the door and Gary opens it. Dan gestures to Margot.

“Hi, I’m Margot. I’m here to do Vice President Selina Meyer’s makeup and hair,” her voice is smooth and professional. Maybe they were related after all.

Gary looks her over suspiciously and lands on her bag.

“Is that a Birkin?”

“Yes, a client gave it to me.”

“Who?”

“I can’t say, but she’s amazing.”

Gary’s cow eyes widen with admiration and he opens the door. He hands her a standard NDA and she signs it quickly.

“The makeup artist is here,” Gary announces.

Dan watches as Margot straightens her shoulders as Selina walks in.

“Hello, Madame Vice President,” Margot bows her head.

“Oh, hello. Good job, Dan. I’m Selina Meyer,” she extends her hand.

“Margot Egan,” Margot shakes her hand lightly.

“You’re Dan’s sister?”

“Unfortunately,” she flashes a smile.

Selina lets out a fake laugh. It’s not horrendous like her laugh for Andrew, but it’s still grating. He can tell Selina knows she’s flattering her, but she likes it all the same. Dan would be impressed, if he wasn’t annoyed with her very existence.

“He does have his uses.”

“I wouldn’t question your judgment, Madame Vice President.”

“Smart girl,” Selina sits down at the vanity.

Margot starts with her makeup.

“It’s a shame that the TV lights are so hot.”

“They’re just awful.”

“Well, don’t worry. I won’t cake any makeup on you.”

“Thank you.”

Dan leaves her to it. He can’t stand any more of this compliment tennis. When she’s done, Selina does look great. He isn’t crazy about the dress that Gary chose, but at least the makeup and hair is right.

“Good job,” Amy offers begrudgingly.

“Thank you, Amy. It’s so nice to see you,” Margot smiles.

“Y-Yes,” Amy nods and Dan doesn’t hide his smug grin.

“Who’s your new girlfriend, Dan?” Mike jogs awkwardly over to them.

“She’s my sister, Margot,” Dan glares.

“Oh, that’d be gross,” he shudders,” I’m Mike McClintock.”

“Nice to know you’re anti incest, Mike,” Margot tilts her head.

“Ha ha. She’s funny,” Mike laughs, surprised and looks back at Dan.

“Hilarious,” Dan rolls his eyes.

“So, do you want me to stay?” Margot turns to Dan.

“Why would you stay?” Dan’s eyes narrow.

“Touch ups, dumbass,” Margot taps him on the forehead and he swats her hand away.

“Yes, stay, just in case,” Amy grips her phone.

“Can you feel anything in that hand?” Margot squints.

“Surprisingly, yes,” Amy nods.

“Impressive,” Margot arches an eyebrow.

Dan grits his teeth and stares at her.

“Nice tie, Dan,” she says. “It’s quite long. I wouldn’t want you to hang yourself with it.”

Amy brings her hand to her mouth and clears her throat to hide her laugh.

Selina’s interview starts off awkwardly and slowly progresses from a trainwreck into a fiery crash. To Dan’s surprise, Margot simply watches. In between set ups, she rushes over and runs her brush over Selina’s face. They share a joke and she zips back to where Mike is standing. In a flash, she catches Dan’s eye and flips him off with both hands. He blinks and her hands are at her sides. 

Jonah comes stomping in like Godzilla on Tokyo and completely ruins the shot. Dan swiftly takes Margot by the shoulders and moves her behind a pillar before Jonah can see her. That’s the last thing he needs.

“What are we doing, Danny?” she glares at him.

“I don’t need the Walking Dead slobbering all over you while I’m trying to work,” he nods towards Jonah. Margot sneaks a look.

“That’s a human? It’s not tiny Martians stacked inside a man suit?” she sticks out her tongue.

“As far as I know,” Dan almost laughs, but he stops himself.

“What’s going on, D-Bag?” Jonah waltzes over to them. “Ooh, Dan, we’re working here. Can’t be sneaking off with _Maxim’s_ Hot 100.”

“She’s my sister, fuckface,” Dan seethes.

It does nothing to deter Jonah and Margot looks very bored.

“Hi, Jonah Ryan. I work in the White House,” he extends his hand.

“Uh huh,” Margot doesn’t take it.

“In the West Wing,” he continues.

“Mmm,” she folds her arms across her chest.

“With the President. Like Charlie Sheen,” he gives her a toothy smile.

“Isn’t it Martin Sheen?” Margot scoffs.

“No, I think it’s Charlie,” Jonah nods.

“It’s Martin,” Dan adds, trying to get in between them with no success.

“Are you also riddled with venereal disease?” Margot glares at him.

“Nah, babe. My dick’s so clean you could wash the floors with it,” he leans over and whispers in her ear.

“Why would I wash the floors with your dick?” Margot steps back.

“I mean, not literally—I—”

Margot nods silently and walks away. Once she’s gone, Dan smiles. She is an Egan after all.

Amy watches the footage on the monitor while Dan hangs back with Margot. The producer, Cody Marshall, and Amy begin a screaming match and Margot shoots him a look. He’s enjoying this too much.Gary and Mike try to calm them down until Dan has to pull her away.She wheels back at him and he has to use both hands. He and Mike try to help her, but she’s already too far gone. Once the dust has settled, Margot moves towards Cody.Dan reaches his hand out and she drives her thumb into his wrist. Dan winces and watches her.

“Hi,” Margot’s voice is sugary sweet.

“Hi,” Cody looks at his monitor.

She places a hand on his shoulder and he turns towards her. She’s using her demure damsel face that always got her out of parking tickets. She’s all big blue eyes and dimples.

“I’m Margot,” she smiles, “I’m so _so_ sorry to bother you. I just had a question.”

A blonde wave curls around her finger and she bites her lower lip.

“Yeah?” he looks like a cow stuck in a tractor beam in a cheap sci-fi movie.

“Does NBC know you’re fucking Janet?” she arches a dark eyebrow.

All the color drains from Cody’s already pale face.

“Didn’t think so. If you could do me a _huge _favor and lay off the Veep’s Chief of Staff, that would be so great,” she sticks her tongue through her teeth and wrinkles her nose.

“Hey, I don’t want any trouble,” he puts his hands up.

“Of course not, sweetie. That’s why you’re gonna be on your best behavior from now on, right? Thanks so much,” she gives him a cute wave and walks away.

“Holy shit,” Jonah stares at her.

“That was pretty diabolical, Go,” Dan nods.

“I know,” Margot shrugs.

By the end of the interview, Margot gathers up her things and Jonah rushes over to her.

“Need help carrying anything?” he’s hovering.

“No,” she throws the strap over her shoulder.

“You know what would really upset your brother?” he closes the large gap between them.

“Sephora going bankrupt?” Margot muses.

“No, if you and me, you know, fucked,” he rocks his Gumby hips.

“No, that won't work cause it would upset me too,” Margot moves past him.

“Thank you, really, for your help,” Amy says sincerely. She doesn’t smile because why would she?

“Thanks, Amy. Can you tell Dan to mail me my check? If I stay here any longer, Jonah’s gonna end up needing emergency surgery,” Margot snarls.

“Believe me, I get it. I’ll have the helicopter pick you up,” Amy nods and types on her phone.

“Awesome! Egan out!” she puts her hands up and walks out.

Amy chuckles and shakes her head. She really hopes Dan doesn’t start doing that.


	3. Season 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a change of pace, but I hope you enjoy it. Shout out to Kenny for all her amazing support. Thank you all so much for reading. I appreciate it so much. Please leave feedback and kudos if you so desire.

After Jonah forced him to eat crow, Dan feels another panic attack coming on. He’s so jittery they pump liquid Valium into his veins. His eyelids grow heavy and everything goes black.

“Oh, you messed up, dummy.”

Dan turns his head to the source of the voice. He hasn’t heard that voice in almost a decade.

“Kit?”

“Hey,” she smiles and her brown eyes crinkle.

He looks around and sees they’re sitting on the bleachers at their high school. She raises her skinny arms over her head in a stretch. Her honey blonde hair falls in her face and she tucks it behind her ear.She’s wearing a black dress covered in tiny daisies. It’s the last thing he saw her in.

Life was shit, so it made sense the only sibling he actually liked was dead.He easily fucked Casey’s fiancee because she was a hot idiot. Margot lived her own life bouncing between New York and LA.Being the two workaholics of the family, they only saw each other once a year, maybe, and liked it that way. The Egans held the appearance of respectable Irish Catholics, so they never talked about Madison. He never asked Margot about her. Why would he?

When Madison was born, Casey called her their “kit sister” instead of “kid sister" and it stuck. She came first and then Margot followed four hours later. Madison challenged him every minute. Despite the age gap between them, she wanted to beat him at everything. If he set any records, she had to break them: softball, debate team, archery. She was supposed to become a journalist after graduating high school at 16. 

“You’re not really here. My brain is being stupid,” he sighs. “Despite what Ma thinks, heaven and hell don’t exist.”

“You said that to Father Francis and he made you clean the attic.”

“And you pretended you rolled your ankle so I could sneak out.”

She had only been seven at the time, but she was a chip off the old block. Even when she was in kindergarten, a boy had pulled her ponytail and she had him pinned immediately.Thankfully, she never turned on him. The only time she was a real pain in the ass was when he was visiting home on Fall Break of his sophomore year of college. She must’ve been PMSing because she stayed in bed for days and cried every time he tried to talk to her. Finally, Margot practically banned him for checking on her. They were always each other’s creepy bodyguards.

“Why the fuck am I talking to you?” Dan slaps his hands on his knees.

“Maybe you miss me,” Madison shrugs. “But then again you did kill a dog, so you’re not too sentimental, Dahmer.”

Dan doesn’t like this. He’s the Ice Man. He hasn’t felt this way in a long time. He shrugs her off.She lets out a dramatic gasp and presses her hand to her chest.

“You know Red Bull and no sleep isn’t the best combo,” she scrunches her face. He can see all the freckles on her nose. He always had way more freckles than the rest of his siblings. He was covered in them.

“Shut up,” Dan pinches the bridge of his nose.

“How long were you even campaign manager? Like a month? What are we gonna do with you, dummy?” she laughs.

“Okay, I get it. You’re me reminding me of my failures. Fuck off,” Dan stands up.

“Please,” she laughs,” you did this to yourself.”

Dan looks at her for a moment. He must be dreaming because her blonde hair is glowing.

“Kit, why did—”

“Wake up,” she whispers in a disjointed voice not like her own.

Dan feels all the air sucked out of his lungs as he falls forward. His eyes snap open.

“What the fuck just happened to you?” Margot stares at him.

“Kit…” his voice cracks.

“What did you just say?” Margot doesn’t hide her shock. She heard him.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head. “What are you doing here?”

She hands him a cup of water and doesn’t spit in it.

“I was visiting Cee when Ma called.”

“So you were already here?”

“You think I’d travel across continents for you? Ma said something about you texting her?”

“I’m guessing Cee is a new boyfriend or girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend. Actress,” Margot smiles.

“Good for you. I gotta get back to DC,” he sits up and looks for his phone.

“What are you talking about, dummy?” Margot takes it off the tray table and hands it to him.

“Don’t call me that,” he snaps, rolling his shoulders.

“Jesus, okay, asshole. You were fired. Amy texted me,” Margot rolls her eyes.

“As campaign manager, but not as Deputy Director of—” he clutches his chest.

“Calm the fuck down. Who fucking are you right now?” her eyes are wide and wild.

“Hopefully, this shuts you up,” she leans over him and hits the button on his pain pump repeatedly. He isn’t awake for much longer. 

Dan is in the hospital for another day and the bill is nowhere near what it would be in the States. Margot gets them a plane back to New York. The doctor gave him a pamphlet on deep breathing and he threw it in the trash. He doesn’t need that touchy feely shit. He keeps thinking about Kit, but she was right—_he_—was right—it was just his brain firing off random shit. He doesn’t need this right now or ever.

His leg bounces up and down once they get up in the air.Margot took his phone for the flight, not like he’d be able to check it anyway. It’s not like he brought a book. Flying commercial after being used to Air Force Two is ridiculous. The leg room is nonexistent. There’s babies…_everywhere_ and they could start crying at any moment like little screaming bombs ready to blow. Jeremiah joined them in the airport. He was in Paris for some fashion thing and for some reason Margot felt she needed an extra hand. He’s sitting in the middle of an idiot sandwich. He’s painfully bored and the flight is over eight hours. London has been a disaster.He never wants to come back here.

“Dan, seriously, I thought you were incapable of emotions. Why are you so twitchy?” Jeremiah asks.

“I just want to get the fuck out of this stupid country,” Dan grits his teeth.

“Are you on coke?” Jeremiah studies him.

“Fuck you,” Dan grips the armrest.

“Don’t tell me if you see a gremlin on the wing,” Jeremiah snarls.

The second they turn off the seatbelt sign, Margot gets to her feet. She goes over to talk to a flight attendant. She returns with a drink in her hand.

“So, I got you a whiskey,” she says in a sing song voice.

“Oh,” Dan takes a cautious sip. “What’s in it?”

“Alcohol,” Margot rolls her eyes. “Drink it, maybe you’ll feel better.”

Dan is skeptical, but downs the drink all the same.

A half hour later, Dan feels so relaxed. He didn’t know why he was so upset. This flight is fine. He’s gonna get a nice break. Catch up on some sleep. Margot was the best.

“You’re great, Go,” he puts his arm around her.

“Oh, believe me, I know. You should try sleeping, Danny,” she removes his arm.

“So what was in the drink?” Jeremiah asks.

“I just crushed a valium from my purse, sprinkled it in,” Margot takes the empty cup out of Dan’s slackhand.

“You’re so comfortable with drugging your brother,” Jeremiah grins.

“Someone’s got to,”Margot shrugs. “I didn’t need you two bitching for the whole flight.”

“You’re such a smart cookie,” Dan bops her on the nose.

“Can we keep him like this?” Jeremiah asks, unable to contain his laughter.

“Jer Bear, where would—who would— Go be without you and your magnificent eyebrows?” Dan squeezes Jeremiah’s shoulder.

“Aw, you’re gonna be such an asshole later,” Jeremiah laughs.

To appease his mother, Dan stays with Margot instead of going straight to DC. She says the change of scenery will do him good or otherwise she would have to come stay with him. Dan spends the first few days on Margot’s couch. He hasn’t been shaving or working out. Why bother?

“All right, enough of this. Jer, arms,” Margot grabs Dan’s legs and Jeremiah lifts him up under his arms.

“What the fuck?” Dan growls.

With a large splash, they toss him in her soaker tub. Sopping wet and furious, Dan struggles to his feet. The water sloshes onto the tile as he slips out of the tub.

“You’re dead,” he spits.

“Run, Go-Go, run!” Jeremiah yells.

Margot bolts out of her apartment and Dan throws his shoes on, hopping on one leg. He chases her down the street. She doesn’t even look back. The second he thinks he’s gaining on her, she speeds up. He chases his sister for six blocks before he’s nearly hit by a cab that clearly has no regard for human life. The cabbie honks and Dan hits the hood with his palm before it drives off.Margot turns her head and sees him panting. She strolls back over to him. His lungs are on fire.

“I’m gonna kill you,” Dan pants, resting his hands on his thighs.

“I’m so scared,” she isn’t even sweating.

“You planned this, didn’t you?” Dan shakes his head.

“Well, it got you out of the house,” Margot shrugs.

Under the threat of another dunking, Margot gets Dan to go to yoga with her in the morning with Jeremiah as emotional support. Margot and Jeremiah are bitching about something when he spots her. A very curvy redhead. He loves athleisure clothes. He can see everything.

“Redhead, second row,” he nudges Margot in the ribs.

As the woman bends over, Dan and Margot tilt in synch, watching her. He grins and Margot frowns.

“She must be new.”

“Dibs,” Dan hits her on the arm.

“I have a girlfriend, douchecanoe,” she scoffs.

“Settle down, all. Today, we will be needing partners for our poses. Everyone, pair up,” the instructor says.

Dan rushes over so fast he practically leaves tire marks on the floor.

“At least he’ll be getting exercise,” Jeremiah shrugs.

“This is freshman year of college all over again,” Margot seethes.

Because of Miss Lululemon and the other yoga hotties, Dan decides to hang around. He hasn’t been to New York in a while anyway. Margot isn’t being an insufferable bitch, so why ruin a good thing?She’d been making him smoothies and he hadn’t thought about Kit at all. Everything was good. Jeremiah is even on his side, sort of. Dan even overhears them arguing the other day.

“You know when he’s not a Patrick Bateman knock off—“

“Don’t you say it!”

“He looks—“

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Pretty hot.”

“Judas!”

Dan can’thelp it. He laughs so hard Margot leaves the apartment for two hours because she is so embarrassed and upset. Jeremiah shrugs.

“I’m gay and I have eyes.”

Once Margot returns, Dan gets a text from Amy saying he can come back next week because Selina is in a forgiving mood. He goes back to DC, alone, with plenty of smoothies from Margot. He takes the train because he didn’t have a car and Margot’s was in LA. Four hours on the road together would probably end in homicide, despite the fact they weren’t arguing 24/7. They text a bit which for them is like staying up on night talking on the phone. He will never thank her or admit that he was glad she helped him out. Amy deserved compliments, not Margot.

Being back at work is strange, but fine. Everything feels a little slowed down, but he’s still able to contribute. He and Amy are vibing so well and it kills Jonah. They make an incredible team and he’s genuinely glad to be back. Selina coming in second really wasn’t half bad even with the haircut and the twitch. The team goes out for drinks and tease Dan for his change in personality.

“Welcome back,” Amy clinks her drink against his and smiles.

“Thank you, thank you,” he can’t help but smile back at her.

“I don’t think he’s here to stay, but new Dan wasn’t…awful to be around,” Amy says trying not to choke on her words.

“Am I really being that different?” Dan laughs.

“Yeah, Dan, it’s kind of a body snatchers situation. Or is it _Freaky Friday_? Are you really Margot?” Amy laughs a little too loud at her own joke because she’s a fucking lightweight.

He hadn’t really noticed the change. He thought it was the reset, but meditation and yoga are bullshit. He didn’t find any inner peace.

When Dan gets home,he opens up his freezer and eyes the set of smoothies he still has leftover. She wouldn’t. She’s not _that_ devious. No. No. She wasn’t _that_ bad. He runs his hand over his face and remembers a comment he made to Kent, of all people, about how smooth his face was. Why did he say that to the Pol Pot of Pie Charts? He grabs his phone and practically punches her number in with his thumb.

“Go, have you been fucking drugging me?”

“Anddddd, he’s back,” Margot sighs. “Human Dan, we barely knew ye.”


	4. Season 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Please and enjoy and leave feedback or kudos if you'd like. Thank you so much for all your support.

Dan spends another day on the couch eating junk and drinking beer.All of the round the clock heart attacks in Selina’s office really made the time fly by. Around 8pm, there’s a knock on his door. Who the fuck could that be? Everyone he knows is either in the White House or ignoring his calls. He opens the door to see his sister checking her phone while resting one arm on his doorway. She’s wearing a blue blouse and black leather pants.

“C’mon, loser, we’re going drinking,” Margot pats him on the shoulder.

“Did Ma call you?” Dan sighs.

“You called her ‘mother’ and made fun of Aunt Frances’ plastic surgery,” Margot rolls her eyes.

“You know, Casey and I used to call her ‘mother’ before you and Kit—you uh,” Dan clears his throat,” switched over to ‘Ma’.”

“Thank God we did, Norman Bates,” Margot glares at him.She claps her hands. “Come on, the longer we wait the less drunk we get!”

“Let me get my coat,” Dan disappears for a moment.

Margot spies a divorceé taking her purse dog to the elevator.

“Not bad,” she nods towards her as Dan locks his door.

“Trust me, too much work. She’s a talker,” Dan shakes his head.“How is your girlfriend, Bee?”

“Cee. She’s fucking a Hemsworth now,” Margot shrugs.

“Shit,” Dan arches an eyebrow.

“Fuck off, like you care,” Margot rolls her eyes.

“You’re right. I don’t,” Dan smirks.

Margot swats him on the shoulder and he chuckles darkly.

They decide on a bar a few blocks away since neither of them are driving.

“Can I get a—”

“Four shots of bourbon, please,” Margot smiles.“I bet I can drink more than you,” she challenges him.

“Oh, yeah, you weigh 70 pounds, bring it,” Dan scoffs.

They each finish off two shots almost immediately. A vague memory of drinking with Ben slips into Dan’s mind, but he shakes his head and orders another round of four.

“You wanna talk about it?” he offers hoping she doesn’t.

“Do you?” Margot laughs.

“No,” Dan knocks back another shot.

“More shots! More shots!” Margot claps.

A guy with an unfortunate soul patch comes over to Margot.

“Hey—”

“Bye!”

“I just—”

“Bye bye!”

“Look—”

“Bye bye bye!”

“Bitch,” he growls.

“You know it!” Margot flips him off.

“I forgot you’re not always a pain in the ass,” Dan just laughs. “You’re smarter than Casey anyway.”

“That’s not hard,” Margot puts her lips around the glass and tilts her head back, so the liquidslides down her throat. “Haha no hands!”

“Big deal, anyone—”Dan tries to copy her and spills the shot down his shirt.

Margot points and laughs.

“Think he’s still mad about Fiona?” Dan wipes down his chest with a thin bar napkin.

“Probably, who cares?” Margot reaches for her glass of water and Dan pulls it out of reach.

“No water, not until one of us wins,” he warns her.

“Four more, barkeep!” Margot yells.“God, Fiona was stupid and loud.”

“_Very_ loud,” Dan finishes another shot.

“Gross,” Margot finishes hers.

Dan wonders what it says about them that they’re both tipsy, but not on the floor.Every kid in the Egan household started drinking in high school. They were both well practiced at it.He’s certain in her world of fashion and celebrities she’s probably done worse. She’s just not stupid enough to make it a habit.

“You know, I thought about fucking her, but I didn’t actually do it. I was gonna bully her instead,” Margot sighs.

Dan orders two more and she locks eyes with him as she downs them. He’s feeling the shots now. He takes a deep breath.

“How you feeling, boozy?” she giggles.

“I’m not as think as you drunk I am.”

“Ha!” Margot claps her hands together. “I win!”

The song switches over to a fast pop rock one and Margot throws her hands in the air.

“I fucked a guy in this band,” she laughs.

“It better have been the lead singer,” Dan snorts.

“Duh. I won’t fuck no drummer.”

She hops off the bar stool and starts to dance. She twirls and backs up to into a guy’s chest.

“Oh, sorry!” she puts her hands up.

“Can I get the check?” Dan says watching her cautiously.

“Don’t apologize, sweet thing,”the guy’s hand cups her ass.

“Hands off,” Margot growls.

He holds her by the waist, so she stabs one of her heels into his foot and elbows him the nose.

“Fighting Irish!” she yells.

“Fighting Irish!” Dan throws cash down on the bar.

They sprint down the street all the way to his place, never looking back.

Dan ends up back on his feet at PKM. After Amy’s outburst and departure from Selina’s campaign, Dan works very hard to get her to join him lobbying. She’s no longer screaming in parking lots, so that’s something.

He suggests they go out for drinks after the concrete convention because she’s on edge. What really surprises him is seeing Margot at the bar waiting for them.

“I already got you a tequila,” Margot hands it to Amy, knowing better than to hug her.

“And why are you here?” Dan asks, sitting down at the bar.

“I invited her. She was doing makeup for Senator Talbot over at CNN,” Amy shrugs.

Dan knows for a fact that Amy can’t keep up with Margot. He tried and ended up nursing his hangover for two days. After her second shot, Amy is all giggles.

“Did you ever go after the same girls?”

“No,” the Egans say in unison.

“I have better taste,” Margot explains.

“Debatable,” Dan snorts, standing up and goes to the bathroom.

The ladies order two margaritas since Amy likes them. Margot figured she could pace herself better with the marg anyway.

“Tell me a story Dan wouldn’t want me to know,” Amy says, taking advantage of his absence.

“Um,” Margot’s mouth moves to the side,” I have one even he doesn’t know.”

“Oooh,” Amy raises her eyebrows and brings the drink to her lips.

“One time, it was like Thanksgiving break and Dan came home. He didn’t have to come home every break, but Ma wanted him over for major holidays. It was my first time back home since I left for school. I had graduated early, not as early as Kit, but I wasn’t gonna hang around high school without my twin, you know?” Margot pauses to a take a sip.

“Dan has _another _sister?” Amy squints like she’s trying to figure out string theory.

“Had,” Margot corrects.

“Oh, fuck, sorry,” Amy puts her hand on her mouth.

“It’s been a long time,” Margot shakes her head. “So, back to Dan. I was hanging with all my friends and of course, they always found him hot. If you think he has a big ego now, he was way worse when he was younger.”

“He had a comeback party. He had banners made that said “The Egan has landed” with his face on it. As in, he fucking put in an order for it,” Amy rolls her eyes.

“Jesus Christ, I stand corrected. Are there pictures?” Margot snorts.

“I fucking hope not. Did he fuck all your friends? And then their moms?” Amy grumbles.

“Good one, Amaaaay babaaaay,” Margot laughs and hits Amy on the shoulder. “I was worried there was gonna be an orgy in my kitchen.”

“Gross,” Amy retches.

“Yeah, so I may have made him brownies with a little Ex-Lax,” Margot grins.

“No!” Amy gasps.

“Shut it down. He was in the bathroom all night and no one wanted to fuck him,” Margot chuckles darkly.

“You’re the superior Egan,” Amy clinks her glass against Margot’s. She never thought she would’ve liked her years ago, but Margot really grew on her. She hated Dan more than Amy did and successfully poisoned him, twice.

“I’ll drink to that,” Margot giggles.

They have another set of margaritas and Margot guesses since Dan hasn’t been back yet that he met someone. She just hopes he’s not fucking in the bathroom.

“Slow down, doll,” Margot warns her.

“It’s Friday and I don’t work for Selina. I can drink as much as I waaaant,” Amy plays with the straw in her glass. Her tongue searches for it unsuccessfully, so her mouth is just open. Margot guides her to the straw.

“You’re a sloppy little drunk, aren’t ya?” 

“You have glitter on your face,” Amy presses a hand against Margot’s cheek.

“It’s called highlighter,” Margot just watches her.

“You smell good too. Like flowers. Pretty flowers,” Amy stumbles forward a bit, hand still on Margot’s face.

Their blue eyes lock and Margot wonders how straight Amy really is. Her thumb traces Margot’s mouth and she leans forward just as Dan sits back down.

“What the fuck?” Dan hisses. He grips Amy’s shoulders and props her up, distancing her from Margot.

“But she’s so pretty!” Amy whines. “Her skin sparkles.”

“What did you do?” Dan’s eyes narrow. “I wasn’t gone long.”

“Long enough. She had two shots and two margaritas,” Margot puts her hands up.

Dan sits in between them now, feeling very protective all of the sudden.

“You better make a move, Danny, or _this_ Egan will be taking Amy home,” she points to herself.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dan huffs.

“You’re not fooling anyone, dummy,” Margot rolls her eyes. “It’s in all the gossip columns.”

“I’m not kidding, Go. Fucking stop it,” Dan’s mouth straightens into a thin line.

“I’m not even 10% kidding, big bro,” Margot winks.

“You’re so far away, Go Go!” Amy sighs and throws her arm out for her.

“It’s okay, we’ll be taking you home soon,” Margot says, eyes still on Dan.

“Yeah, let’s get you a cab,” Dan stands up. He puts money down for her drinks and helps her off the stool.

“Bye, bye, Margot. Hey! Margarita. Margot. Margorita,” Amy squeals, delighted at her own joke.

“Bye, bye, Ames babes,” Margot grins at her.

Dan’s face feels hot as his skin blushes pink.He pushes Amy in front of him and starts to walk her to the door. He looks back and flips off Margot. She responds with two fingers and a smirk.

“Typical.”


	5. Season 5 and Season 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy and leave feedback or kudos, if you so desire. I couldn't come up with an entire chapter for season 6, so enjoy a brief scene. Thank you so much for your support! It means the world.

Being Jonah’s campaign manager is torture. It’s like having to push a boulder uphill all day without it having the decency to crush you on the way back down. He realizes pretty early on that he’s gonna need some help. He doesn’t want to. He’d rather die, but when Jonah starts naming counties in other states, he calls his sister.

“I need you to humanize Jonah,” Dan sighs.

“But Doctor Frankenstein destroyed his lab. We can’t reverse the process,” Margot groans.

Dan puts his hand over his mouth, so she doesn’t hear him laugh.

“So, should I send a car to take you to the airport?”

“No, Dan,” Margot hangs up.

About three hours later, Margot calls him back.

“Fine, get me a plane to New Hampshire,” her voice is flat. “I don’t want two Egans screwing Amy over.”

“She fucking told you?”

“I’m surprised you’re not broadcasting in Times Square. That would’ve been more dignified,” Margot scoffs.

“Look, I thought—”

“Tomato, to-mah-to, you sister fucking douchebag.”

Around 6pm, Margot waltzes into the dingy campaign office. She must’ve been in NYC.

“Margot fucking Egan. Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Jonah leers at her.

“Jonah, no, stay away from my sister unless she’s fixing your hair or some shit,” Dan points his finger at him.

“Dan, don’t speak for me,” Margot rolls her blue eyes

Jonah steps forward and closes the gap between himself and Margot.

“Yeah, Dan, don’t speak for her,” Jonah places a giant hand on her shoulder.

“He is right though,” Margot shrugs him off,” please stay away from me.”

“After I win this thing, you’re gonna be begging for a spot in my bed,” Jonah whispers in her ear.

“Are you sure there’s gonna be room, Groot?” Margot tilts her head.

“There’s plenty of room on top of me, baby,” Jonah winks.

“You know rock stars have gone down on me, right?” Margot chuckles.

“What? Really? Who?” Jonah’s mouth falls open.

“That’s for me to know and for you to jack off in the shower about,” Margot’s the one who winks this time. “Little hint, they were all women.”

Jonah groans audibly as Margot walks away from him.

For the next few days, Jonah tries to win Margot over. He gets her flowers that she throws in the trash right in front of him. He fails to get her to go to dinner with him. Every time he tries, she brings Richard along as a buffer and makes him talk about acapella. Unfortunately, Jonah just sees her as a challenge. Dan doesn’t get involved because it’s too funny to watch.

“I think if we pushed him in a vat of toxic waste it might help,” Margot dabs a Beauty Blender on Jonah’s face to try to make his paper white skin look a little more alive.

Dan looks at his phone, stifling his laughter with his wrist.

“I’m not the Joker if that’s what you’re implying,” Jonah scoffs.

“No, he had great cheekbones,” Margot shakes her head and begins to blend the foundation with a face brush.

“Hey,” Jonahstands up from the makeup chair. He points an abnormally long finger in her face.“Listen, princess, I don’t need this shit from both Egans. I’m not some pussy celebrity. I work in the fucking West Wing. Got it?”

The entire atmosphere in the room shifts. Dan freezes. Jonah has no idea what he just did.Margot’s eyes go black. Her body tenses and she’s tight like a snare drum. Jeff waltzes into the room and then stops in his tracks at the sight of them. Jonah tries to take her hand in a peaceful gesture.

“Don’t even fucking _think_ about touch me,” she pushes the human asparagus to the ground and places a stiletto between his ribs. “Got it?”

“Y-Yeah, understood,” Jonah looks like a giant vulnerable turtle on its back.

“Say ‘Yes, Margot’,” she bares her teeth.

“Yes, Margot. Can I get up, please?” Jonah has his hands up.

“Good boy. I’ll be right back,” Margot lifts her foot and walks away.

“You two were no fucking help,” Jonah says from the floor.

Jeff erupts with his signature cackle and nearly falls over.

“When she was five, I took one of her dolls and she bit me,” Dan shakes his head.

“She bit you?” Jonah’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull they’re so wide.

“Yeah, just latched onto my leg and wouldn’t let go. She got that ‘dead in the eyes’ look when I tried to shake her off. I don’t need any more scars,” Dan tells him, looking back at his phone.

“Your sister is a psycho, but,” Jonah struggles to his feet. “that was kind of hot.”

. “If she killed him, I would’ve ruined these pants,” Jeff hacks.

“Jesus,” Dan grimaces and leaves the room.

Jonah is a disaster candidate to put it lightly and Selina loves to scream about it. Dan gets tired of cleaning up her messes like they just magically happen to her through no fault of her own. At least that’s something he and Jonah can agree on, but it’s short-lived. Margot bounces back and forth between New York and New Hampshire since she does have a real job to do.Things get dire enough that Amy joins their band of misfits.

“Is Go here? I need a witness, so I don’t murder both of you.”

“Or someone to help dispose of the bodies,” Margot smirks.

After that, they’re as thick as thieves which Dan hates. He swears he can find them whispering in the corner of every room. Sometimes, Margot even answers Amy’s phone when he calls her.

“I mean, I could make it look like an accident,” Margot shrugs, passing Amy another tequila.

“I just can’t believe he slept with my sister. I should sleep with_ his _sister! See how he likes it!” Amy grumbles.

“Hey, babe, don’t write checks you can’t cash,” Margot giggles.

Amy laughs loudly and puts her head on Margot’s shoulder, so she knows she’s feeling the drinks. Margot puts her arm around her. Amy would never admit it, but it really hurt her that Sophie would do that. They weren’t as close as Margot and her sister sounded like they were, but she has so few people in her life that when they both decide to betray her, her social circle takes a dive.

“I’m sure you’re better at it anyway,” Amy finishes her drink.

“Duh,” Margot squeezes her shoulder, before sitting up.

“What the fuck is happening here?” Dan practically runs to them.

“I’m going back to the motel. Go, wanna get a cab?” Amy stands up.

“Absolutely. Let me just get the check,” Margot tells her.

Amy nods and walks towards the door.

“What exactly are you doing?”

“We’re gonna fuck on your desk, Mr. CVS,” Margot grins.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Dan seethes. “You wouldn’t go that low.”

“Remember Brittany Evans?”

“From college? What about her?”

“Ever wonder why she wouldn’t fuck you?”

The horror washes over Dan’s face as he realizes why he could never bag his white whale. His greatest failure.

“Sibs Week my junior year?”

“Yup.”

“You were still in high school!”

“I was 17 and she was 19, not that weird.”

“She wasn’t gay! I checked!”

“What does that mean? You checked for a gay switch?”

“Can’t believe you.”

“C’mon, Dan. Where you fail, I succeed,” Margot smirks. “Sweet dreams.”

When they get to the motel, Amy asks Margot if she can stay a bit. Margot returns from her own room with a pint of ice cream and two spoons. They conquer the ice cream while watching romantic comedies.

“My sister never wants to do this,” Amy’s foot kicks one of the pillows while she lays on her stomach.

“Kit and I did this all the time,” Margot leans back against the pillows.

“What was she like?” Amy digs her spoon into the ice cream.

“She was my soulmate. Always looking out for me,” Margot looks at her nails.

“You must miss her,” Amy’s voice is quiet.

“Every day,” she doesn’t meet Amy’s eyes and reaches forward for some ice cream.

“Were she and Dan close?”

“Oh, yeah. The only time he ever resembled a human was when she was around.”

“Really?”

“She was a demon whisperer. She could get him to do shit he’d never do withanyone else. Like when she was 3, he let her stay in his bed during a thunderstorm. He was 7, but still.”

Amy can’t imagine Dan like that. She looks back at Margot and sees her blue eyes are glassy.

“I didn’t meant to—I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. No one ever wants to talk about her.”

Amy and Margot share a look before returning their eyes to the television.

In the morning, Dan sees Margot walking out of Amy’s room.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Calm down. We had a normal sleepover.”

Margot pushes right past him.

Dan takes Margot’s threat serious enough to be nicer to Amy and for a moment it feels like the old days. Thanks to the NRA, Jonah wins the seat. Amy and Dan’s joy dies as soon as Jonah starts threatening people from the podium. Once the cameras are off, Jonah walks over to them at the same time as Margot. Margot doesn’t even look up from her phone as his eyes rake her up and down.

“Wanna be the First Lady of New Hampshire?” his stupid face wears a shit eating grin.

“That would be Governor, dumbass,” Margot shakes her head.

Jonah strides towards her and she drops her phone. Her eyebrows fly up and he dips her. Well, he tries. He doesn’t have a lot of upper body strength. She grasps his (lack of) biceps to keep from falling. Of course, he misreads the entire exchange.

“Got somethin’ for me, babe?” he breathes on her.

“Absolutely,” Margot knees him in the crotch.

Amy and Dan burst into laughter. Richard catches Margot before she hits the floor.

“Fucking hell!” Jonah yells as he hits the concrete.

“Thank you, Richard,” Margot smiles as he steadies her.

“I think consent should be verbal and enthusiastic,” Richard smiles and skips off.

“If only he was smarter,” Margot shakes her head.

“I know,” Amy sighs.

“Hey, your congressman is injured!” Jonah yells up at him.

“Congressman-Elect,” Dan corrects him before helping him to his feet. “You don’t need a dick to vote.”

“Fuck off, Dan,” Jonah limps away from them.

“I mean, I did warn him,” Margot picks her phone up from the floor.

“You could murder him and he’d still think he had a chance as he bled out,” Amy scoffs.

Even with Jonah, Selina loses the White House and Dan ends up in Big Apple. He’s not surprised that Margot doesn’t acknowledge the fact he’s on television now. He thankfully doesn’t run into either. One of the makeup artists asks if he’s related to her and he doesn’t answer. It’s when he’s starting to go orange from all the stupid bronzer that she calls him.

“What the fuck, Danny?” she hisses.

“It’s been too long, sis,” he scoffs.

“You look like a Cheeto!”

“Didn’t think you’d notice.”

“It’s humiliating. We have the same last name, dipshit. I’m at the top of my field and my idiot brother looks like he dipped his face in self-tanner.”

“Let me find the world’s smallest fucking violin, Go.”

“You’re a white man. You should look like a white man, not a Florida retiree.”

“Trust me, it’s been brought up. No one gives a shit. You think I like looking like I live in a tanning bed?”

“Are you really fucking Jane? Because gross.”

“Fuck no, who do you think I am?”

“Hey, you’ve Mrs. Robinsoned before.”

“That was totally different.”

Margot doesn’t respond to that.

“Look, is there any way you can do my makeup for tomorrow so I don’t even have to get it done?”

“Why would I do that?”

“For your precious reputation.”

“Fine, but I’m fixing your eyebrows.”

Dan comes by her place early in the morning. She has him lay down while she applies the wax.

“Any way you can use your connections to get me something else? I hate being Jane’s chew toy,” he asks.

“Close your eyes or I’ll rip out your freakishly long eyelashes,” she warns.

“So that’s a no?” Dan closes his eyes.

“Why would I help you? I’m always helping you and for what?” she spreads the hot wax between his eyes. He flinches.

“It hasn’t been all that bad,” he offers.

“Yeah, I loved having to give Jonah Ryan a fake number,” she rolls her eyes as she smoothes the strip down on his skin.

“Not my problem.”

Margot rips off the strip and Dan cries out in pain.

“Goddammit! You could warn me!” Dan yelps, rubbing his skin.

“Not my problem,” she says, taking her tweezers out.

“Have you talked to Amy at all since she’s been back?” he asks after an uncomfortable silence.

“The sooner she realizes you’re poison, the better,” she yanks out a long hair.

“I can feel the love,” he scoffs.

She puts down two more strips and waits a moment before ripping them off in unison.

“Fuuuuuck!”

“That’s for humiliating Amy on TV, dickwad. Now, time for makeup,” Margot flashes a smile and pushes his chair upright.

“You wouldn’t even know Amy if it wasn’t for me,” he grumbles.

“If she never met you, she’d be better off,” Margot scoffs. “Now, let’s make you Irish again.”


	6. Season 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much to everyone who read this little story. I was so worried that no one would like Margot and I'm so happy she's fit so well in the Veep!verse. If you still need a Margot fix, don't worry, she'll be popping up again, but in a much much more AU setting. Enjoy and leave feedback if you so desire!

Amy runs, not walks, away from Selina’s campaign to be Jonah’s campaign manager. She knows from past experience that she’s going to have to work her hardest if she wants to win. That means using certain gifts Selina wanted her to always keep hidden. She needs to look hot. Even though they don’t agree with his politics, Margot and Jeremiah agree to lend a helping hand when Jonah comes third in South Carolina.

“How did you two meet anyway?” Amy asks as Margot curls her hair.

“We were neighbors, but officially, Westchester Country Club,” Jeremiah holds up two sheath dresses. Margot nods to the blue one.

“I was like twelve and J was fourteen. Dan would ditch me and Kit at the pool, like all the time and his family gave me us a ride home,” Margot explains.

“And I would do it all over again,” Jeremiah beams at her.

“I owe my career to him,” Margot winks and he winks back. It’s a friendship that Amy can’t comprehend. She remembers when she first met them—she found them insufferable. She thinks they’re kinda cute now.

“My family’s in fashion. Only sunglasses and purses, but still something,” Jeremiah pulls a pair of heels out of his bag.

“He’s downplaying it. It would’ve taken years to get to where I am, otherwise,” Margot shook her head.

“Now, Amy, think T Swift _Reputation _Era. The old Amy can’t come to the phone,” Jeremiah advises.

“Why?” Amy furrows her brow.

“Cause she’s dead.”

“Is that—is that supposed to mean something?” Amy’s confused.

“I need a moment,” Jeremiah gasps and covers his mouth with his hand.

“You broke his gay little heart,” Margot chuckles.“He just means this is a new badass you.”

Amy nodded, not really knowing what to say as Margot continued to doll her up. Margot had been her most recent friend in a long time and she wasn’t even that recent. They’d worked with each other almost five years now. She was someone that allowed Amy to be herself. She didn’t have to rein her in or check her impulses. She was competent and great at her job. She even chose Amy over her own flesh and blood, something Amy’s flesh and blood couldn’t even do. She can’t believe someone who she originally couldn’t stand is now one of her closest friends. Margot seemed like the gossipy type—a perfect mean girl—but she wasn’t.

“You are so gorgeous, Ames,” Margot grins, admiring her work.

“Thanks, Go,” Amy smiles back at her.

Of course, they cake more makeup because they’re CNN and CNN is tacky, but Margot stays quiet while she watches Amy on camera. She throws her a thumbs up. They pick out more outfits for her to wear and they’re all curve hugging dresses. Amy feels invincible even though she has the World’s Dumbest Man as her candidate. When Jonah’s dad dies, Margot and Jeremiah come in as reinforcements since Richard and Dan will be there.

Amy can’t help herself as her eyes wander over to Dan as he enters the Ryan household.

“No, no, no, don’t even look at him,” Margot puts her hands on Amy’s shoulders.

“He’s a burning house. Would you go near a burning house?” Jeremiah asks.

“N-No,” Amy stammers.

“Especially a burning house that fucked your sister and didn’t even help you pay for your abortion,” Margot adds.

“Burning house. Burning house,” Amy repeats, nodding.

“Ames. Go. Jer,” Dan grins and steps forward.

“Hello, Satan,” Margot smiles and steps in front of Amy.

“I don’t think that’s fair,” Jeremiah squints.

“Thank you!” Dan throws his hand up.

“It’s an insult to Satan. He would never wear that suit,” Jeremiah arches a black eyebrow.

“It’s Prada,” Dan snaps.

“Yeah from _last year_,” Jeremiah scoffs.

“Hey, I—” Dan stands there for a moment, thinking up a comeback, but doesn’t have anything, so he just walks off.

“I wish Kit was here,” Margot sounds sad.

Amy looks at her.

“She would’ve punched him in the balls,” Margot closes her eyes.

“She would’ve. It would’ve been beautiful,” Jeremiah sighs, wistfully.

Amy has to cover her mouth to stop from laughing.

“I’ll be right back,” Margot says before sprinting after her brother.

She snakes her hand under his armpit and drags him over to the bathroom.

“How dare you show your freckled fuckface here,” Margot spits.

“I missed you too,” Dan chuckles.

“You know I didn’t think you could be an even bigger piece of shit, but you’ve out-shitted yourself, dickwad,”

“Are you done?” Dan sighs.

Margot rips off her Jimmy Choos and chucks them at his face.

“Ow! Jesus, Go!” he blocks them with his hands.

She picks them up again and beats him with the heel. She’s fast and gets a few hits in

“Go! Stop it! Stop it!” Dan runs into the bathroom and locks the door.

Satisfied, Margot slips her heels back on and walks away.

Margot and Jeremiah don’t attend the funeral because Amy said they should direct the staff to help set up all the food for the guests when they return. Basically, they leave the staff set up however they want while they look at celebs on Instagram.

“The dress was a little short for a funeral. Was that you?” Margot scrolls up on her phone.

“Hell no,” Jeremiah scoffs,” I think she talked to Dan cause she had that pink lipstick on.”

“Oh, God,” Margot rolled her eyes. “I wish we could bury him today. Why is he her fucking Kryptonite?”

“Don’t be mad, but he looks so fucking hot now. I insulted his suit as a reflex, but fuck me, he—”

“Fucking hell! Enough! Just shut up,” Margot throws her hands up and drops her phone.

“You asked!” Jeremiah says defensively.

“I’m gonna drink some bleach now,” Margot walks away from him.

An hour later, Amy finds Margot in the backyard, sucking on a cigarette.

“You won’t believe, ”Amy’s eyes go wide, “I didn’t know you smoked.”

“I don’t. I got this from the catering driver,” Margot takes another drag.

“You won’t believe what Dan did,” Amy sighs.

“Try me,” Margot blows the smoke out of the side of her mouth.

“His new girlfriend is my goddamn OBGYN,” Amy starts to shake with anger.

Margot’s eyes go round, but she doesn’t say anything. She takes a final drag before stubbing the cigarette out with her heel.

“Want me to break them up?” her voice is so matter of fact.

“What? How?” Amy just stares at her.

“Come with me,” Margot jerks her head towards the house.

When they come back in, Jeremiah is talking to Dan and Layla. Layla waves at Amy and Margot looks at her feet to hide the roll of her eyes.

“Hi, Amy. I was just telling—is it Jeremiah?”

“Yes,” Jeremiah’s smile is all teeth.

“I was telling him that you’ve been looking wonderful lately.”

“It’s easy when you have such a beautiful canvas,” Margot smirks.

Dan groans audibly.

“Layla, this is my sister, Margot Egan. She’s Amy’s stylist,” he gestures to her.

“Oh, nice to meet you,” Layla offers her hand.

“That’s such a pretty name,” Margot shakes it.

“Thank you,” Layla smiles, unaware.

“You know, Dan,” a smile creeps on her face,”That was Gammy’s name.”

Dan clears his throat, trying not to look uncomfortable.

“No, her name was, um, it wasn’t that,” Dan stammers.

“Yeah, Layla Murphy. Aw, Gammy Layla. So sweet. She always gave us candy. Not that butterscotch shit, but like Ghiradelli chocolates,” Margot sighs, happily. “Remember, Dan, she would always ask you to hold her hand when she got out of the car. Her frail little hand. Poor thing her skin was so translucent and those liver spots.”

Dan swallows hard as he goes pale. He looks like he’s going to throw up.

“I’ll be right back,” Dan sprints away from them.

“Hey, Dan!” Layla calls after him.

Margot squeals with triumphant laughter and claps her hands.

“Go, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t her name,” Jeremiah giggles.

“I know, but he has no idea,” Margot shimmies her shoulders.

“You are a genius. A fucking evil genius,” Amy shakes her head.

Their happiness is short-lived because Jonah approaches them.

“Hey, Margot,” Jonah moves closer to her.

“Hi, Jonah. Sorry for your loss,” Margot says, robotically.

“Can I talk to you, in private?” Jonah lowers his voice.

“Um…” Margot bites her lip.

“It would mean a lot to me, considering everything,” Jonah touches her elbow.

Jeremiah raises his eyebrows and Amy bristles, waiting for Margot to punch him.

“Just a quick sec,” Margot nods. “If it’s longer than 5 minutes, you pick me up and you drag me back inside, J.”

“Got it,” Jeremiah nods.

Jonah is already outside when she joins him.

“I worked it all out.”

“Worked what out?”

“Look, Margot, when you started working for Amy, Beth told me she’s totally cool with a threesome. I told her you go both ways and she thinks you’re smokin’ cause c’mon, look at you.”

“She’s a banshee right now, Jonah. She’s not having sex with anyone.”

“She’s having such a hard time with everything.”

“Your sister-wife is having a hard time with the death of your mutual father and you want me to rail her?” Margot narrows her blue eyes. 

“Half sister,” Jonah corrects, pointing a spindly finger.

“It’s still 100% gross. This isn’t _Game of Thrones,” _she glares at him.

“So what do you think?” Jonah puts his hands on his hips.

“I would rather scoop out my own eyes like the Terminator than fuck you and your half-sister wife.”

“Oh, you like The Terminator. Great movie. I’ll be back.”

“I won’t,” Margot doesn’t even look back as she walks back into the house.

**24 YEARS LATER**

Dan meanders out of the library with Selina’s former staff. A silver Benz pulls up and the window rolls down.

“Hey, asshole,” Margot waves.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Dan rushes over to the car.

The years had been very kind to Margot. She was the epitome of aging gracefully. Her high cheekbones looked dignified and her blonde curls were cascading down her shoulders. She hasn’t gone grey at all. She and Jeremiah launched their own line of clothing accessories which was wildly successful.

“Picking up Amy and Bill,” she doesn’t hide her annoyance.

“Did you go bankrupt?” Dan laughs.

“No, you Tony Stark knock off,” Jeremiah rolls down the window in the back,” we’re going to lunch with them.”

His once jet black hair is now flecked salt and pepper.

“Is your brat with you?” Dan asks, not wanting any more surprises.

“She has a name,” Margot snaps.

“Bailey’s at Georgetown,” Jeremiah answers with an eye roll.

Dan never expected Margot to settle down, especially not with Jeremiah, but when Selina rolled back gay rights, it was the only way he could have a child. President Talbot fought to get same sex marriage and adoption passed as an amendment, but they still were roommates. Not that Dan ever sees her, but apparently, the kid has the trademark Egan looks and brains.He really didn’t know Margot still kept in touch with Amy. He doesn’t really know much of what’s going on with Margot anymore. After their mom died, they really didn’t see the need to keep in contact.

Dan’s wife, Kristy, glides over to them.

“Hi, Go-Go!” she waves wildly. Like most women her age, she's a fan of Margot and Jeremiah's line. 

“Hi, Dan's future ex-wife,” Margot grins.

“You’re so silly,” she laughs.

“That’s one way to put it,” Jeremiah bites his lip to stifle his laughter.

“C’mon, this is boring. Let’s go,” Dan glares at them.

“See you when someone else dies, Dan,” Margot fakes a smile. “I hope it’s you.”

“Right back at you,” Dan winks and walks away.

Bill and Amy approach the car and Margot gets out. Amy doesn’t even look at Dan which after all these years makes Margot want to punch the air. It took her a while to warm up to Bill because she thought he was kinda weird looking and old for Amy, but he turned out to be a decent match. Margot did not understand the greyhounds though. That was beyond her. She never wanted to have a dog that needed a sweater.

“Thank you, Margot for, getting the car,” Bill says.

“No problem,” Margot slides in the backseat with Jeremiah.

“That wife is so young,” Amy says as she gets in the passenger side.

“Don’t worry, in 6 years, she’ll be sent up to the farm with the other wives and mistresses,” Margot sighs.

“The happy little over 30 farm in the sky,” Jeremiah sighs.

“You make it sound like he murders them,” Bill notes.

“Not that I can prove,” Margot tosses her hair over her shoulder.

“So, where should we go?” Bill asks.

“Anywhere with good drinks,” Jeremiah grins.

“Ding dong, the bitch is dead! Time to celebrate!” Margot claps.

“Fuck yes,” Amy laughs.


End file.
